Being submissive

2009-04-14T17:56:11Z

Being submissive is a natural part of my being. A follower instead of a leader. Looking back on my life i can see the pattern from very early on--mama's little helper, teachers pet, coach's bat boy. It is a role i found comfortable and content to be in--and to aid, help and follow these people, to do for them and to please them; to be told what a good job i had done and what a good boy i was, that brought me pleasure and satisfaction. And self-worth. Just as i have always been gay, i have always been a submissive boy.

But being a submissive faggot slave boy, that would evolve over many years and much soul searching. For me being a slaveboy goes way beyond two oversexed men in the bedroom or playroom. It is a life, everyday, every hour, every minute. To total submit and give myself, fully, completely to another Man; to have Him dominate, control and own me; to know i am there to serve and obey and please and be used by Him in every and anyway He desires or sees fit. To admit that of myself and to embrace it was a life journey that still continues for the more i give up control and submit the more i need it. i beg to be taken further, to be more under His control, His will, to give up more of myself and become His totally and fully. And for a long time i was afraid to accept this about myself, tried to deny it and move away from it. It is not easy to realize about yourself that you want and need to be dominated, to serve, to be ruled and guided by a Man. To submit yourself to His whims, His desires, His needs. Ta say, yeah, i like to be tied and bound, caged and collared, beat and pissed on, to be verbally abused or ignored or to be a domestic servant to please Him, to have Him make all the choices and decide what i should be, or wear, or eat, or have pleasure. To give your life over to Him, all of it, body, soul and being. That scared me.

A moment in time!

Being submissive